Look Who's Talking

Several months ago, I posted a blog listing Lily's entire vocabulary. I couldn't do that now. She knows way too many words. She just, like, talks and stuff. And she says things on a daily basis that crack me up. I usually post them on facebook. Here they are, gathered in one place. (with a bonus BRAND NEW conversation never before shared. Except the other night at the Tavern.)

Slow Mommy, Exasperated Lily

Lily: Cah ha dat?

Me: What, Lily?

Lily: *sighs* Cah. Haaaaaaaaaah dat.

Me: I'm sorry, sweetheart. What are you saying?

Lily: Dat! *points to the toy in my hand* Cah HAH dat?

Me: Oh. Yes. You may have this.

Why do I feel like the underlying message in everything she says is "You dumbass....?"

A Two-Year-Old Watches a Rock Concert (courtesy of the last scene of "School of Rock")

*smoke machine begins

Lily: It's hot.....?????

*singing and dancing continues

Lily: What are they doing???

*shots of kids with fake tattoos

Lily: Yucky!!!

*Jack Black dives off stage

Lily: Oh! Bonk.

Rock is confusing.

We Were All Thinking It

Metro-North Conductor: [Charlie Brown Teacher, incomprehensible garble.]

Lily: WHAT did you SAY???????

Passengers: [much laughter]

Thank you, folks. She'll be here all week.

Lily Orders Lunch

Lily and I are enjoying a lunch of "Hot cheese." I've always called it grilled cheese, but I kind of prefer her phrase.

The Day Mommy Ruined a Perfectly Good Graham Cracker

Lily: Snack?

Me: You may have something to eat, but not a fruit snack.

Lily: Cah hah dat?

Me: *Knowing what this means now, but not knowing what she wants* Can you have WHAT?

Lily: *sighs, takes my hand, leads me to the kitchen, points to the graham crackers* Dat! Dat! Cah-ckie?

Me: A graham cracker? *thinks. It's time for lunch, not sweets* OK. I'll tell you what. You may have a graham cracker.

Lily: Thank you!

Me: But. You're having it with peanut butter. *Lily watches with confusion as I get the peanut butter from the cupboard. Confusion turns to horror as I put the PB on the cracker.*

Lily: No! Stop it! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! NOOOOOO!!!!!!! STOP IIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!! NO THANK YOU!!!!!!!

At least she's polite about it....