TLC’s “A Baby Story” makes my uterus hurt. The episodes all start out innocently enough, with sweet stories of growing families. But just when I’m too emotionally invested to change the channel, the horror show begins, and soon I find myself physically exhausted, helping a total stranger push from the comfort of my living room. I’m relieved the end is near- just one more big push - when I hear the familiar squeak of our rusty mailbox, and I’m pulled out of today’s labor. Of course, I’ll fall for it all over again tomorrow. But for now, unlike the new Mommy on the screen, I am full of life and energy, able to leap up from my spot on the sofa to see who might have sent me evidence that they’re thinking of me. It’s likely only Ed McMahon, but one never knows. This must be what the people of River City were feeling as they sang about the Well’s Fargo Wagon.
My daily mail ritual involves sorting each piece into one of three piles. The first is for the people who live in the upstairs apartment of our duplex. Their mail is easily identifiable by the fact that it is addressed in Chinese. Pile number two is made up of things that go directly into the trash, and it is often made up of multiple Pottery Barn catalogues. Finally, there is a pile for the things I will open and shred before putting them into the trash. This pile can be a lot of work. But my only other options are delivering my information into the hands of identity thieves, or wallpapering our apartment with opportunities to consolidate our student loans. So, shredding it is.
I haven't read many memoirs, so critiquing one may not be my forte. I like the voice and writing style and would read on. I've learned a lot about the writer even in this little bit of text. I don't have any advice or criticism. I hope others are more helpful than me! Christy
ReplyDeleteI like the voice and conversational tone of the writing. It makes the mundane incidents of daily life interesting.
ReplyDeleteMy only critique is that some of the comma placement feels a bit weird, but I'm not the best with commas, so you might want to get a second opinion.
Go Music Man reference!
Just a formatting note: When you're single spacing and not indenting, like in a blog, it's best to add a space between paragraphs so it's easier to read. :)
ReplyDeleteThis made me remember what it was like to be home with my small children (who are now 22 and 24) and desperate for adult interaction! Great voice, great emotion (desperation tinged with humor)
Thanks guys! I'll definitely head over to yours.
ReplyDeleteChristy- I'm so excited that you feel like you've learned a little about me. I was worried about it being only the first two paragraphs. It doesn't even get into what this story is "about."
Sarah- While the comma placement has been intentional (style choice) I've gone back and forth with it. I will definitely take another look. And I am SO GLAD you got the Music Man reference without my saying outright that it's a Music Man reference ;) As the next few paragraphs explain, I'm a music theatre teacher, so there are lots of MT references.
Ulleseit- It's funny you should say that. This book is about my husband and I and our first year of (unsuccessfully) trying to conceive. But now, I AM home with a little girl. (we adopted.) So it's interesting that this desperation comes through.
Headed to all of your entries as soon as the kiddo goes to bed!
I really enjoyed this. It's a little similar to what I wrote. I, too, sense the loneliness. That seems to come with being a new mom doesn't? It really takes a while to get into the swing of things. Loved the humor!
ReplyDeleteYep, still good.
ReplyDeleteOh, Tom. What would I do without your insight?
ReplyDeleteI would LOVE LOVE LOVE to read this!!! I adore memoirs and have had quite a road with fertility. I have had two pieces published on the subject. We really need to stay in touch. I am sorry I didn't catch your first page before the deadline today. I am already pulled in by your voice and conversational tone!!
ReplyDeleteSo is your manuscript done? I have mine out to beta readers right now. Because ours are similar in content, would you like to swap? My goal is to start querying it in August.
ReplyDeleteIt is done, yes. I'm making one more round of edits, but plans to start sending it out at the end of the summer, as well. Would love to swap.
ReplyDeleteEmail me when you are ready. :) authorrachel@gmail.com
ReplyDeletePlease tell me you dream a little before you toss the PB catalogs :)
ReplyDelete