This week on "The Real Toddler of Fairfield County"...
I've been spending a lot of time at the parks lately. Now that I can walk, I need room to stretch my very-long-for-fifteen-months-old legs. So we go to the big park with all the toys that's far away, and the smaller park that has fewer toys but is closer, and the open area in front of our building. Sometimes I meet friends. I am very friendly. But sometimes when I try to make friends it ends badly.
About ten days ago, for example, I was at the smaller park with Mommy and Daddy. I saw another little girl who looked like she was about my age. So I rushed up to her, threw my arms around her, and gave her a big kiss on the mouth, which is- I think- the most appropriate way to make friends. She put her mouth on the side of my face, and I thought, "Hooray! A new friend!"
And she bit me! Really hard! I cried and cried and had teeth marks in my face, and I don't know if I'll ever trust little girls my age again. It was the toddler equivalent of stealing my boyfriend, and I am certain I will be in therapy over it all one day. Fortunately Mommy and Daddy rushed me to my favorite Thai restaurant, as this was the only thing that could console me.
And then yesterday. I was playing outside with my purple ball. I am working on my soccer skills as I plan to be a star someday, and I was dribbling the ball through the grass with my feet. I saw two little girls playing on a balcony above. So naturally, I waved. And I said "Hah-ee." Because my Mommy is a voice teacher, and I have excellent diction. They came down to play with me!
Their Mommy talked to my Mommy while I chased them around. They're older than me, but I'll go to the school where they go someday. Then it was time to go. I was very sleepy. And the younger one- who consistently called me Millie, by the way- took my ball! I kept trying to get it back, but she was bigger than me! Finally Mommy told the little girl that it was time for me to go home, and I was going to take my ball back to my home. The little girl said that it was HER ball, and that she paid $50 for it! Her Mommy laughed and said that it was not hers, and that she had one like it but did not pay $50 for it. But my Daddy said that he would sell it to her for $30, and it would be a bargain. I am learning about music from my Mommy. And I am learning about sarcasm from my Daddy.
I got my ball back. And the bruises on my cheek have faded and are nearly gone. But is it too much to ask to find another nice little girl? One who likes to play tea party (I have a really fabulous tea set. It sings) AND likes to play soccer?
Nice little toddler girls of Fairfield County, where are you?